The New Sexuality

In the past, America was home to a lot of sexual hypocrisy. Ever since the Puritans, American social norms have made people feel guilty about something that is natural, good and fun, while giving societal elites the right to sexually abuse others. People are made to feel extreme guilt for their sexuality, starting from childhood. I myself have had to work hard to overcome this feeling of self-loathing - Catholic guilt is a real thing!

Since the fifth century A.D., Christianity has pushed repressive norms about sex on the people of Western Civilization. Unfortunately, the military conquerors of Europe also forced these destructive ideas on the world at large. Nowhere is this more symbolically represented than in the term "missionary," used to describe a popular sex position. The Christian missionaries from Europe, unfortunately, often violated the rights of Native American women. I can't imagine the mindsets of men who would do this. There is definitely a dark past to America's demonization of sex. Fortunately, many of us are moving beyond the restrictive, hypocritical, unfair sexual mores of our history.

There is trend in our society now for people to no longer treat sex as something that is shameful and dirty. This has brought about changes in various aspects of sex in recent years, including with regard to the LGBT community, sexual liberation for women, casual sex, open relationships (including marriages), swinging, exhibitionism, kink and the common searches for sex online. Each of these avenues for sexual fulfillment isn't for everyone, but each of us can choose the options that work best for us. Now, those of us on the left half of the political/social spectrum are experiencing a democratic sex that is better for everyone.

We, fortunately, have a more inclusive sexuality in today's times. For example, we now have greater LGBT acceptance. Many people like me no longer believed that homosexuals should be stoned, but rather loved and accepted in our society. People should never have to apologize or feel guilty for the circumstances of their birth, especially when there is nothing inherently wrong with who they are. I wholeheartedly agree with Lady Gaga on this. We are individuals who must be treated as such!

Women have also rightly benefited from The New Sexuality, because the sexual double-standard has been lessened on the Left. Liberals, including most liberal men, believe that women must not suffer sexual abuse - that a woman's sexuality is hers to exercise as she sees fit. We also hope to end "slut-shaming" of women by men; this practice is both offensive and ridiculous; sex does not make a woman dirty or sinful! Sex is best when it works for everyone involved. 

Sexual liberation is part of the hedonistic spirit of our age. Open relationships are common among married, engaged and dating couples. Swingers clubs and parties have spread all over the place and are only kept secret for fear of law enforcement crackdowns. I and others want to enjoy all that life has to offer. People want to have fun because they never know when they will draw their last breath!

Marriage isn't for everybody, especially not marriage that is strictly monogamous. People in our society have come to realize this, so alternative arrangements have entered the picture. It is better to experiment with different lifestyles than to hurt their spouse by having an affair. Young children won't be harmed, because they won't know about their parents' sexual adventures until they get older. By that point, they'll have their own sex lives and shouldn't be kept in the dark about the various forms of human sexuality. All sex has its negative consequences; however, in my opinion, the pros outweigh the cons.

Tinder has made casual sex much more acceptable for American adults. Casual sex today is covered by the euphemism "hooking up," which theoretically covers everything from kissing to drug-fueled sex marathons; in reality, the term describes sexual intercourse 99.5% of the time. As I've noticed, there is a lot flirting and exhibitionism now on Facebook, as well. It has been transformed into Tinder Lite! At some point, nearly all of us have looked for sex online, whether we admit it or not.

As with any pleasurable activity, we all want variety in our sex lives and with sex partners. In today's world we don't have to limit ourselves to just one lifelong sex partner. We can each have a few lovers at any one time if we so choose. Heck, variety isn't just for sex; it applies to food, drinks, vacations, etc. Why drink the same beer every time you visit your local pub? I like Yeungling Lager, but I don't want it all the time!

The current trend toward sexual variety began with the college hookup culture of the early 2000s. The "hookup culture" began with those of us born in the 1980s (I was born in 1983), adults now in our 30s. For many of us, the practice of hooking up has been carried into adult life. Those in their 40s and early 50s have very quickly learned from us! It often happens that trends on college campuses spread throughout the general population. Repressive social norms lead to rebellion, which is necessarily focused on the young. The result is that those of us now in our thirties have gone from the hookup generation to the swingers generation.

In recent years, America has been returning to the sexual norms of the Greeks and Romans, while rejecting the restrictive rules of Western Christianity and the Dark Ages. The process began in the Sexual Revolution of the 1960s, but has been sped up by the rise of the Internet, especially of social media. Tinder has completed this process of sexualization, transforming Facebook and changing sex from a forbidden fruit to one that is readily shared with everyone. I joke that "intercourse is like saying 'hello!'" We don't need to feel guilty about our every thought and desire. There is no longer a need to pretend that sex doesn't exist. Instead, let us celebrate it and enjoy it!