A number of dramatic events, both good and bad, often
happen at this time. Such occurrences include sexual liaisons (sometimes
leading to unplanned pregnancies), porn viewing, 420, wild house parties, interesting
after-parties, arrests by the police, drug raids, philosophical thinking,
feeding one's baby, or receiving calls about a dying parent. The opportunities
and pitfalls are endless, depending on the lifestyle, responsibilities or
personal appetites of the person. You can make 2:37 a.m. anything you want it
to be.
The main thing that happens at this time of night is sex.
As expected, the most mind-blowing sex takes place among college students,
young adults, and swingers. Lustful people party in hot tubs, swingers' clubs
and private parties. Married couples may indulge in such activities to avoid
the emotional and legal fallout of traditional adulterous liaisons. In keeping
with the time honored tradition, college students and twenty-somethings will hook
up with other kids at local bars. Of course, unplanned pregnancies often begin
at this time; you always have the guy who really doesn't want to wear a condom
or the woman with the mysteriously malfunctioning birth control pill. For these
reasons, drunken sex is not always the best sex.
For lonely men, the middle of the night will turn them
into those desperate men whacking off to porn. A man will oddly find himself
naked in front of his home computer, sometimes while his wife or girlfriend is
asleep! If the guy is drunk enough, dick pics may unfortunately be sent, to the
discomfort of all! For both men and women, lame story lines will matter less,
the alcohol will do its job, and people will pine for the days of old when the
debauchery of 48 Hours Video was all that they needed!
Another form of bonding that can be non-sexual is 420. In
fact, 2:37 a.m. is 4:20 for any person no longer in high school. Most often, of
course, pot smokers will be seen sneaking off to a secluded location. Some
marijuana users will instead smoke inside a duplex, row home or condo, so that
all their neighbors are awakened by the smell. A person smoking a blunt does
not equal a Breaking Bad-style drug den, although tokers should take landlords,
roommates and neighbors into consideration when choosing a venue for consuming
weed.
Wild house parties are still going strong at 2:37 a.m.,
especially for the younger crowd in their late teens or twenties. Crackdowns on
underage drinking and concern for "public safety" are excuses given
for raids on these recreational gatherings of friends. When such parties are
not busted, party-goers will see friends puking in the bushes, sleeping next to
the toilet or lying naked on their host's beat-up old sofa. This is where
stories are created that get shared throughout the person's life.
For other thrill-seekers, there are some interesting
after-parties that take place in hookah lounges, private social clubs and
studio apartments. In the Lehigh Valley, hookah lounges have popped up all over
the place in recent years, being way more popular now than when I was 25. It is
a trend that I heartily approve of, because it gives an exotic, mysterious
flair to the night, leading to interesting stories and even more intriguing
companions. Private social clubs are basically hookah lounges for
thirty-somethings, and studio apartments are early-morning crashing pads for
the nearly comatose bodies lying side by side on the carpeted floor. The most
dedicated party animals will make use of the numerous after-parties popping up
at this time.
Unfortunately, 2:37 a.m. is the time of night when many
get arrested by the police, with devastating consequences. Private citizens get
arrested for misdemeanors such as DUI, public drunkenness, simple assault or
criminal trespassing. While watching the show COPS, I noticed that
several arrests occurred at exactly 2:37 a.m.; that is how I stumbled upon the
importance of that time. Once arrests are made, lawyers are called by desperate
clients already tired of their prison cells. Delinquent teenagers will make
their "one call" to parents from the local police station. This is
the call that many parents dread, but which is all too common, even for some of
you readers who are parents.
Drug raids also go down in the predawn hours of the morning.
This may immediately follow snitches selling out their former friends or
compatriots. The whole neighborhood is unfortunately awakened and disturbed by
all the police activity. This is when S.W.A.T. teams get out the heavy
artillery, as if they are elite military units raiding an ISIS stronghold in
the Middle East. The result is that young children are manhandled by the police
and their partially-clad parents are paraded out in front of curious neighbors
kept up by all the racket. Once I knew a cab driver who was subjected to such a
raid. In my 20s, this cab driver who would sometimes pick me up from the bar;
one night, I was walking home from OBT and saw his place getting raided at 3:00
a.m. on Easter Sunday. Somebody was working for their holiday bonuses!
For those of us no longer into partying or sexual
licentiousness, we may be kept awake by some deep, philosophical thoughts that
follow our nighttime awakenings. That is the reason for the comical Facebook
page known as 3 AM Thoughts. We open our books, surf the Internet, even
socialize on social media platforms, eliminating the possibility of further
sleep. We can, though, maximize the productivity of this period by writing down
our deepest, most profound musings and by keeping a dream journal at our beds.
These things can be used to create some funny memes in the light of day.
Many new parents may be busy taking care of their babies
at 2:37 a.m., feeding the little urchins when they yell, scream and poop all
over the place. This is a challenge facing all new parents; it makes them want
to pull their hair out! Years later, however, when looking back, nearly all
parents cherish this time spent with their precious infants. They will repeat
to their adult children ad nauseam the stories of caring for them as infants,
as the family is gathered for their birthday celebration each year. Despite
being redundant, we all come to greatly value these bonding experiences with
our aging parents.
Life goes fast, until many loved ones are no longer with
us. One of the more heartbreaking things we fear about the wee hours is the
dreaded phone call about a dying parent. Many of us in our 30s have gone
through this recently with our grandparents, and now dread going through this
with our parents, as our Baby Boomer parents are mostly retired and
increasingly show signs of aging. It is best to enjoy our lives as much as
possible each day, because life is so painfully short.
While trouble may come of this time of night, it can also
be very good, as the earthly pleasures attainable at 2:37 a.m. make life
worthwhile. The pleasures of this life more than compensate for the sufferings
we have to endure. For this reason, I have chosen Hieronymus Bosch's The Garden
of Earthly Delights as my cover photo for my Facebook profile page; our
lives at 2:37 a.m. definitely fit the lighthearted, hedonistic spirit of this
masterpiece. To some extent, Bacchus and Venus are deities that we all worship.
A little responsibility will make late nights worthwhile
for any of us. This time of night can obviously be better for young adults if
they plan ahead for such adventures; they can call Uber, stay with a friend or
avoid companions who cannot avoid legal trouble. In life we all have to take
risks in order to gain rewards; it just makes sense to minimize the risks in
order to justify those rewards. We can all lead happy, exciting, well-balanced
lives.
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