Due to the demands of human society, we usually we keep
our troubles to ourselves, to avoid depressing ourselves or the people around
us. People don't know why we are sad, quiet or irritable, but our sour mood
pushes them away, isolating us at the time we may need other people the most.
They say, "laugh, and the world laughs with you; cry, and you cry
alone." Social failure also makes us feel weak and emasculated, like we
are pathetic, incompetent human beings.
Sometimes these problems spill out in unexpected ways. We
snap at the ones we love, self-medicate with addictive or destructive behavior,
or have trouble sleeping. These reactions create new sets of problems. If the
core problem is not addressed it will grow and attach itself to life's new
problems. To compensate for this slippery slope, we must exert the sheer force
of our wills to think positively and to engage in wholesome, constructive
behaviors that lift us up and make us feel better.
Some common problems that people face are addiction,
domestic violence, mental health issues or cancer. Such personal catastrophes
often define us, drag us down, but also give us opportunities to grow. They
also give society the crucial task of providing necessary tools to fight these
issues, whether it be drug rehabilitation centers, shelters for abused women
and children, mental health clinics in depressed urban areas or cancer
treatment centers with financing options for folks of modest means. For each
one of us it is usually something; very few people are without any major
struggle or disability.
Addiction as we all know afflicts a great number of
people, both in the United States and around the world. The things that we are
addicted to could be alcohol, drugs, gambling, shopping/spending, or eating.
Alcohol addiction has been a scourge on mankind since ancient times, while drug
abuse is a fairly new phenomenon affecting modern society. The opioid epidemic
is wrecking havoc throughout rural America, as well as in many communities of
artists, musicians and thrill-seeking young adults. Addiction enslaves the
person and makes him or her unable to develop their true, loving, achieving
selves.
Like addiction, it is hard for many women and children to
escape the clutches of domestic violence. Unfortunately, there are huge numbers
of victims throughout the world. Too many men give themselves over to violence
and aggression, behaving in the fashion of invading medieval soldiers instead
of civilized men of the world. These men are out of control and unable to be
reasoned with. Fear of further assaults or even death at the hands of one's abuser
is often the worst part of the abuse. People close to the battered woman can
see a few signs of this, but the woman usually keeps it to herself in order to
avoid very serious repercussions.
More secret and often hidden, but no less prevalent, is
the scourge of mental illness which causes large numbers of people to suffer in
silence, including myself. We feel trapped by our own brains and lose much of
the energy required to live a fulfilling life. Many of you may suffer from
depression, bipolar disorder or severe anxiety. These disorders can affect
people we would never suspect. They can hide in plain view, leaving everyone
guessing as to their peculiar habits or behaviors. Once a person's mental
health issues are visible, they are often quite severe, requiring the immediate
assistance of friends or loved ones.
Last, but not least is the beast that is cancer. In
addition to the disease itself, there is the arduous process of chemotherapy,
testing, hospitalization and extreme financial problems brought on by
hyper-inflated medical bills that often go into collections, maybe even causing
patients to lose their homes. No wonder there was tremendous appeal for a show
such as Breaking Bad, which I greatly enjoyed watching on DVDs rented from the
Bethlehem Area Public Library. The show brought to public attention the issue
of how the health care industry mistreats and neglects a great number of cancer
patients.
Despair is what makes people give up on themselves,
forcing them to live in a never-ending downward spiral of self-destruction.
Despair is a danger to people, because it can prevent them from living like a
normal human being or can even make them suicidal, worrying and upsetting
friends, family members and romantic partners. Unfortunately, people in that
individual's life may judge them for giving up, but in reality each one of us
could get to that point if circumstances in our life push us to the breaking
point. We all have have our limits and each one of us sometimes responds
inappropriately to life's problems, setbacks or disappointments.
As previously mentioned and frequently alluded to in
previous blog posts, I am faced with a lifelong struggle against mental
illness, which includes three disorders: Asperger's Syndrome,
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and depression. My mental problems are
largely genetically inherited and have greatly held me back socially and
occupationally. At this point in my life, I am taking stock of my situation and
am finding ways to compensate for my deficiencies. For example, blogging is a
productive and meaningful form of self-medication, one that is healthy.
Many people, however, do self-medicate in ways that are
quite self-destructive. I myself have been guilty of this from time to time,
using alcohol or food or sleep to cope with my emotional difficulties. For
example, you may know a recently divorced man who abuses alcohol to chase away
the feelings of loss and uselessness, or the woman who suffers from depression
so acute that she cuts herself off from well-meaning friends and loved ones.
Often self-medicating can be a subconscious form of self-punishment.
Self-punishment needs to be replaced with self-love!
When we are at our lowest, we have to remember that we
are not alone in experiencing difficulty and that there is always hope as long
as we draw breath. It is never too late
to change; a troubled past does not preclude a happy, meaningful future. Don't
focus on the years you've lived, but on the years you have yet to live. We will
always have troubles, but with a positive attitude, we will have fewer
difficulties and will deal with them much more effectively, limiting their
extent and creating a bright, happy future!
As we struggle for self-improvement we will often have
setbacks, but we must stand up, get a grip and move forward once again. It is said that a good person falls seven times a
day, and this is true. The key is to avoid beating ourselves up when we fall
and to think instead about how we can avoid such failures in the future. For
example, we can replace overeating or sleeping with comedy shows, enlightening
reads or time on social media with friends. Social interaction lifts many
people out of their funk.
Once we regain hope, we can make plans for getting out of
the rut that we find ourselves in, but only once we decide to motivate
ourselves to do what we know we need to. Thinking is not enough, we must get
out of bed or off the couch and start MOVING.
Things such as a walk around the block or a few pushups could increase
our energy levels and thereby make us much more productive, further improving
our mood and outlook on life. Physical exercise is a powerful tonic to treat
mental illnesses such as depression.
Despite the fact that we all have issues, each problem
incurs a social stigma on every one of us. This makes us feel alone, helpless
and maligned. The best way out of this is to draw inward, being the sole
advocate for our own happiness and emotional well-being. I like to say,
"each person is responsible for his or her own happiness." We need to
aptly ignore the judgments of those around us, and to accept and love
ourselves; we are the only ones who know ourselves and our situations. It makes
no sense to judge everyone else for their problems, while we ourselves have
problems, even if our afflictions or weaknesses are different. We all suffer
differently, just as we sin differently!
We can try to better understand those around us going
through issues, instead of quickly judging them and dismissing them as weak,
evil or pathetic. When we take the time to actually listen to someone going
through a serious problem, we help ourselves as well as that other person. We
help them by giving encouragement and keeping their hopes alive, while we
benefit by gaining a close and loyal friend. We come to understand that
suffering, along with death, is the one thing common to all humanity. We become
a socially aware man or woman of the world.
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