Hoarders, Collectors and Useless Junk

We as a society collect an excess of useless treasures and other junk. We are like the squirrels in this way; just as they collect too many acorns, we hold onto things we never use. Interestingly, squirrels do lose a great number of the acorns that they hide away in the autumn! The media and society's institutions encourage such reckless stashing. For example, the Home Shopping Network (HSN) and QVC, yard sales, discount stores and other sources of useless junk are always there to tempt those with this weakness. 

Many of us collect too much junk or hold onto it because we are fulfilling an emotional need. This is similar to unmet emotional needs that cause people to overeat or drink too much. For this reason, I hold onto old notebooks dating back 20 years, filled with useless trivia that I've copied from the Internet. Laziness is a co-conspirator in this attack of clutter and garbage. Depression or boredom can lead us to accumulate too much stuff, as can ADHD, as sufferers of the latter disease go from one unfinished project to another. Regaining self-discipline is the path to recovery and self-satisfaction.

Under the guise of practicality, many of us keep objects because we feel we'll need them someday. We don't want to have to quickly buy something when we're in a pinch, or to borrow items from friends. It is a primal urge that goes back to our distant human ancestors, the hunter-gatherers. These earliest human beings dealt dangerously with varying and unpredictable food supplies and furs for clothing, so a surplus of anything seemed like a windfall. Unfortunately, though, we are not evolutionarily adapted to our modern world of relative affluence. Human evolution, through natural selection, takes place very slowly over thousands of years.

Most of us junk collectors have only a minor flaw that doesn't cause too much stress. For some people, however, this desire to acquire things grows into full-fledged hoarding, which is a classic symptom of OCD (I am not a hoarder, however). Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a genetically inherited lifelong disorder that can wreak havoc in that person's life. It is a defect in the brain's normal operation that causes the person to feel irrational urges to engage in a useless, self-destructive behavior that they find extremely unpleasant. They know that what they are doing (called compulsions) doesn't make sense, but they perform their compulsions (including hoarding) to chase away the equally unpleasant feelings that arise when they fail to do them. This disorder is highly treatable, but the therapy involved takes tremendous time and effort, after years or decades of intense, unrelenting suffering.

For hoarders who are afflicted most severely, every square inch of their homes may be filled with rubbish, including animal feces and urine, along with rotting food. The smell and extremely unsightly appearance of their homes isolates the hoarders from well-meaning friends and family, making the situation worse over time. In my life, I once knew a woman with a serious hoarding problem. Her entire van was filled with newspapers and rotting food, unsurprisingly causing her friends to avoid getting a ride from her. It was awful, as many of you are aware of from the show Hoarders.

The book Brain Lock by Dr. Jeffrey M. Schwartz, MD explores the extreme and bizarre case of "Karen, a homemaker and former dental assistant in her early 50s. Karen was a hoarder whose problems began early in her marriage, when she and her husband would haunt yard sales. In time, every room in their house was crammed so full of junk that it was impossible to open the doors." She had rubbish in the bathtub and on the stove. "Only a narrow path was navigable through the living room, between trash bags and boxes stuffed to overflowing. With their sixteen cats and four dogs sometimes relieving themselves behind those piles of trash, the stench became gagging."

"Karen recalled, 'We were too embarrassed to invite anyone in.' There was no heat in the house because they were afraid that they would start a fire if they lit the pilot on the floor furnace. Appliances would break down, but Karen and her husband, Rob, couldn't get them fixed because they were terrified that a repairman might report them to the health department. They shuttered the bottoms of their windows and let the shrubs grow so no one could peek inside.' They had created their own hell, just as many with this disease create for themselves. Eventually they got psychological treatment, which enabled them to reclaim their lives and become socially active." Even ordinary people with minor stashes can take inspiration from this and lead happier, healthier lives.

Yes, even the average person collects too much junk and is too slow to get rid of their possessions, no matter how useless or trivial. Junk we don't get rid of includes batteries; remote controls; old video games; broken TVs; and cars and appliances that are not in working order. We are often lazy and simply adapt to our clutter, not realizing that it is still unhealthy, because it is aesthetically unpleasing and may affect our moods, making our lives more stressful.

Hobbyists are often guilty of this as their leisurely pursuits can turn into all-consuming obsessions. They may buy more supplies than they could ever use. When they complete a project, they don't want to throw anything out because they feel they will be able to use something on a future project. They are only fooling themselves! They need to force themselves to give up at least one object after completing a project. They will realistically come to the conclusion that they don't need to live with the excessive clutter. 

Many, if not most of us, have junked up garages, attics, basements and alcoves. A great many people can't use their garages because they are so filled with junk. We have all this valuable space wasted that could be put to much better use, such as actually parking our cars, storing heirlooms, watching TV or surfing the net. Another aspect of collecting involves bibliophiles like me. We have crumbly old books all over our homes or apartments that we will never peruse again. We nerds should discard such books!

Removing clutter and improving our lives is a decision, one that involves a significant degree of self-motivation. We must start by self-reflecting and making an honest assessment of our situation, while also looking inward to solve our emotional dilemmas. If necessary, we must have a heart-to-heart talk with a caring friend or family member. This will give us the needed kick in the pants to motivate us to clean out our homes, create a healthy physical environment and lead healthy, fun, meaningful lives.

Our Private Struggles and the Will to Overcome

Surviving and thriving is always accompanied by pain and suffering, even when our personal pain is invisible to other people. Every one of us has intense problems and struggles that we cope with, seemingly making life miserable and, at times, unbearable. I myself have had my share of hurdles to overcome, a few of which I am still working on. In our struggle there is never-ending frustration. We may feel like we make one step forward with one problem, while at the same time falling two steps behind with two or three other problems. This intense frustration can lead to despair, which is the worst emotional state of all.

  

Due to the demands of human society, we usually we keep our troubles to ourselves, to avoid depressing ourselves or the people around us. People don't know why we are sad, quiet or irritable, but our sour mood pushes them away, isolating us at the time we may need other people the most. They say, "laugh, and the world laughs with you; cry, and you cry alone." Social failure also makes us feel weak and emasculated, like we are pathetic, incompetent human beings.

Sometimes these problems spill out in unexpected ways. We snap at the ones we love, self-medicate with addictive or destructive behavior, or have trouble sleeping. These reactions create new sets of problems. If the core problem is not addressed it will grow and attach itself to life's new problems. To compensate for this slippery slope, we must exert the sheer force of our wills to think positively and to engage in wholesome, constructive behaviors that lift us up and make us feel better.

Some common problems that people face are addiction, domestic violence, mental health issues or cancer. Such personal catastrophes often define us, drag us down, but also give us opportunities to grow. They also give society the crucial task of providing necessary tools to fight these issues, whether it be drug rehabilitation centers, shelters for abused women and children, mental health clinics in depressed urban areas or cancer treatment centers with financing options for folks of modest means. For each one of us it is usually something; very few people are without any major struggle or disability.

Addiction as we all know afflicts a great number of people, both in the United States and around the world. The things that we are addicted to could be alcohol, drugs, gambling, shopping/spending, or eating. Alcohol addiction has been a scourge on mankind since ancient times, while drug abuse is a fairly new phenomenon affecting modern society. The opioid epidemic is wrecking havoc throughout rural America, as well as in many communities of artists, musicians and thrill-seeking young adults. Addiction enslaves the person and makes him or her unable to develop their true, loving, achieving selves.

Like addiction, it is hard for many women and children to escape the clutches of domestic violence. Unfortunately, there are huge numbers of victims throughout the world. Too many men give themselves over to violence and aggression, behaving in the fashion of invading medieval soldiers instead of civilized men of the world. These men are out of control and unable to be reasoned with. Fear of further assaults or even death at the hands of one's abuser is often the worst part of the abuse. People close to the battered woman can see a few signs of this, but the woman usually keeps it to herself in order to avoid very serious repercussions.

More secret and often hidden, but no less prevalent, is the scourge of mental illness which causes large numbers of people to suffer in silence, including myself. We feel trapped by our own brains and lose much of the energy required to live a fulfilling life. Many of you may suffer from depression, bipolar disorder or severe anxiety. These disorders can affect people we would never suspect. They can hide in plain view, leaving everyone guessing as to their peculiar habits or behaviors. Once a person's mental health issues are visible, they are often quite severe, requiring the immediate assistance of friends or loved ones.

Last, but not least is the beast that is cancer. In addition to the disease itself, there is the arduous process of chemotherapy, testing, hospitalization and extreme financial problems brought on by hyper-inflated medical bills that often go into collections, maybe even causing patients to lose their homes. No wonder there was tremendous appeal for a show such as Breaking Bad, which I greatly enjoyed watching on DVDs rented from the Bethlehem Area Public Library. The show brought to public attention the issue of how the health care industry mistreats and neglects a great number of cancer patients.

Despair is what makes people give up on themselves, forcing them to live in a never-ending downward spiral of self-destruction. Despair is a danger to people, because it can prevent them from living like a normal human being or can even make them suicidal, worrying and upsetting friends, family members and romantic partners. Unfortunately, people in that individual's life may judge them for giving up, but in reality each one of us could get to that point if circumstances in our life push us to the breaking point. We all have have our limits and each one of us sometimes responds inappropriately to life's problems, setbacks or disappointments.

As previously mentioned and frequently alluded to in previous blog posts, I am faced with a lifelong struggle against mental illness, which includes three disorders: Asperger's Syndrome, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and depression. My mental problems are largely genetically inherited and have greatly held me back socially and occupationally. At this point in my life, I am taking stock of my situation and am finding ways to compensate for my deficiencies. For example, blogging is a productive and meaningful form of self-medication, one that is healthy.

Many people, however, do self-medicate in ways that are quite self-destructive. I myself have been guilty of this from time to time, using alcohol or food or sleep to cope with my emotional difficulties. For example, you may know a recently divorced man who abuses alcohol to chase away the feelings of loss and uselessness, or the woman who suffers from depression so acute that she cuts herself off from well-meaning friends and loved ones. Often self-medicating can be a subconscious form of self-punishment. Self-punishment needs to be replaced with self-love!

When we are at our lowest, we have to remember that we are not alone in experiencing difficulty and that there is always hope as long as we draw breath.  It is never too late to change; a troubled past does not preclude a happy, meaningful future. Don't focus on the years you've lived, but on the years you have yet to live. We will always have troubles, but with a positive attitude, we will have fewer difficulties and will deal with them much more effectively, limiting their extent and creating a bright, happy future!

As we struggle for self-improvement we will often have setbacks, but we must stand up, get a grip and move forward once again. It is said that a good person falls seven times a day, and this is true. The key is to avoid beating ourselves up when we fall and to think instead about how we can avoid such failures in the future. For example, we can replace overeating or sleeping with comedy shows, enlightening reads or time on social media with friends. Social interaction lifts many people out of their funk.

Once we regain hope, we can make plans for getting out of the rut that we find ourselves in, but only once we decide to motivate ourselves to do what we know we need to. Thinking is not enough, we must get out of bed or off the couch and start MOVING.  Things such as a walk around the block or a few pushups could increase our energy levels and thereby make us much more productive, further improving our mood and outlook on life. Physical exercise is a powerful tonic to treat mental illnesses such as depression.

Despite the fact that we all have issues, each problem incurs a social stigma on every one of us. This makes us feel alone, helpless and maligned. The best way out of this is to draw inward, being the sole advocate for our own happiness and emotional well-being. I like to say, "each person is responsible for his or her own happiness." We need to aptly ignore the judgments of those around us, and to accept and love ourselves; we are the only ones who know ourselves and our situations. It makes no sense to judge everyone else for their problems, while we ourselves have problems, even if our afflictions or weaknesses are different. We all suffer differently, just as we sin differently!

We can try to better understand those around us going through issues, instead of quickly judging them and dismissing them as weak, evil or pathetic. When we take the time to actually listen to someone going through a serious problem, we help ourselves as well as that other person. We help them by giving encouragement and keeping their hopes alive, while we benefit by gaining a close and loyal friend. We come to understand that suffering, along with death, is the one thing common to all humanity. We become a socially aware man or woman of the world.