Tuesday, July 31, 2018

King August's Motley Insect Kingdom

As you read this, the middle of summer is upon us, with its vacations, trips to the pool and outdoor libations. We all have our favorite summertime activities and forms of relaxation. For me, however, there are a few downsides to the summer season: heat waves, high humidity, ear-splitting thunder, heavy downpours, and the overabundance of insects. The last item on the list, bugs, are what bother me and others in many ways; it is about these unpleasant life forms that I entertain you with a funny and interesting account. Hell, insects are something that we all like to discuss on social media!


Unfortunately for us, we are starting August, which I consider the peak of insect season in the Lehigh Valley. In eastern Pennsylvania, insects abound from early or mid-April until late October, but the peak of bug season always seems to be the month of August, creating a very buggy Musikfest in the heart of Bethlehem. Thus, you Fest-goers will be swatting gnats and enduring various insects landing in your open containers of intoxicating brews! The cicada killers come out in early August each year, completing nature's array of scary, dirty, pesky insects. The hazy, hot, humid weather of August, along with lush vegetation, make this month the perfect time for avoiding ants, gnats, flies and spiders, as well as increasingly aggressive stinging insects, such as bees, wasps and hornets. King August rules the insect world, making it his personal domain!

The human distaste for insects is universal, as is our deep emotional fear of them. Bugs are nature's intentional ugliness when it comes to living things, just as the Brutalist style of architecture is humanity's form of this. They definitely represent function over form and mar the beauty of outdoor areas that we normally enjoy. Buggy places that we hate often include beaches, marshes, forests, rivers, creeks and lakes. Any body of water will attract numerous insects, including mosquitoes, especially in the evening when we are enjoying outdoor recreational activities. Insects make our backyards uninhabitable, ruin our picnics and scare the hell out of our children. They can make the outdoors miserable during the summer months.


The obvious reality is that we are even more uncomfortable with insects when battling them indoors. Bugs, including spiders, often have to be killed so that they don't multiply or attack us in our sleep. They land on our computer screens, interrupt our favorite TV shows and make a blurry mess on our smart phones. Even as I was writing this, my computer screen was attacked by this small gnat that just would not die! Then, when we do kill insects, we have to deal with the splatty mess or the smell (as given off by stink-bugs). This is an unpleasant task that makes many of us appreciate the cooler weather.

 
To our continuing dismay, insects of all sorts invade our homes and apartments, being the unwanted visitors that disgust us. Insects can really get into things! They burrow themselves into our sheets, attack our clothing and travel in our suitcases from one city to the next. When they infest our homes, we are forced to spend our hard-earned money on exterminators, even living out of hotel rooms until our homes are safe once again. These things make for great episodes of TV sit-coms, but do not humor us in real life!

Throughout the muggy summer season, we are constantly confronted with gnats and small flies that land on us and pester us. The buggy dusk periods of mid-to-late summer can make it hard to see when they get into our eyes and land all over our skin. It can feel like they're nagging us to death! Horse-flies are also irritating with their loud buzzing and frenetic movement. Biting flies are the worst, giving a little prick of pain, and are very numerous in Delaware, with its flat, marshy land and warm, humid climate. Unlike stinging insects, pesky little bugs annoy the hell out of us every summer, making us savor our air-conditioned living rooms.


Too often, of course, insects attack, spreading disease, intense pain and serious danger. Insects can indeed be very dangerous, especially in the case of mosquitoes carrying diseases. Bees, wasps and hornets can also be very deadly when they attack in mass. Each year, according to the CDC, almost 100 Americans are killed when they stumble upon bee hives or hornets' nests. Spiders can also be poisonous, especially in humid, lush southern states, including the Gulf Coast region. I've known people even in Pennsylvania who have been bitten by poisonous spiders, requiring doctor visits or trips to the emergency room.

Besides putting our lives in danger, insect attacks torment our pets and put us through considerable pain and discomfort. Bugs make our pets go mad, especially fleas, ticks, mosquitoes and flies. They will have dogs chasing their tails and cats freaking out! Because our pets can't speak to us, we don't realize what is bothering them when they are attacked by insects. Even when bites and stings don't bring serious injury or death, bee and wasp stings have us screaming in pain, while mosquito bites have us scratching for days, interfering with our sleep on those sticky, uncomfortable summer nights.


Of course, many of us have a natural fear of spiders and stinging insects. First, there is the element of surprise, often leading to flinching or even spilling a cup of hot coffee, as I have done! Those at the Wise Bean can attest to this! Often, our fears have their origin with being stung as a child. These experiences stick with us because children have less tolerance for pain and more sensitive skin. Unfortunately, for some people this can create a phobia which immobilizes them for years. Most dangerous to us is when stinging insects surprise us while we are driving or operating machinery.

As a veteran of many vivid nightmares, I can tell you that many of our scariest, most disturbing dreams involve angry hordes of insects. The natural fear of insects enters our subconscious minds, even giving the feeling of intense pain to these nightmares. Movies play on this fear by incorporating insects into important scenes or relating them to undesirable characters, such as the Death's Head moth being symbolic of Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs. The scariest movie I've seen about insects is They Nest, a 2000 film shown on TV about a new species of deadly, man-eating cockroaches that devastate a coastal New England town, terrorizing a troubled doctor and his lover. The movie was so grotesque that it gave me nightmares at age 20, though I did enjoy watching it twice!


For our War on Bugs, many of you will suggest bug sprays, nets or citronella candles, but I have yet to find a bug spray that actually works. It's already too much effort for many of us to apply sunscreen, let alone bug spray as well! I do use sunscreen, but I definitely don't want too much gunk on me. As for citronella candles, we don't need to make our nefarious activities or amorous adventures look even more mysterious or erotic, like some arcane love cult!

 
Admit it: some insects are beautiful, cool or interesting. Beetles and lady bugs are photographed and showcased for their beauty, along with fireflies and butterflies. For children and adults alike, fireflies add to the wonder of a starlit summer night. What kid hasn't run around with a jar, collecting lightning bugs (as we call them in Pennsylvania)! Kids sometimes even add eating ants to their initiation rituals for joining their group of playmates during the long, boring days of summer vacation. As a kid, though, I was more excited about bugs than my mom was! We love butterflies, which inspire children's stories and add to the beauty of nature.

Overall, we hate insects with a passion, but they are a necessary evil. We all acknowledge this: just think about how many of us enjoy strolling through insect exhibits in museums, such as that of Smithsonian Institute's Museum of Natural History in Washington, D.C., also featured in Silence of the Lambs. We are especially intrigued when deadly insects are showcased, though we're definitely glad they're behind the glass!  Insects are necessary and good, just usually unpleasant for human beings!


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