Lost Souls, Social Butterflies and the People Who Matter to Us

In our daily lives we usually interact with a lot of interesting people, from every demographic, station in life and personal background, providing challenges but also enriching our lives. What is most important about each person, however, is not their age, race or gender, but their personality. Nowhere is their individuality more evident. In my lifetime I have noted a handful of personality types that we often encounter with family members, friends or business associates. Of course, I recognize and examine my own personality type. I understand that personalities play a critical role in human endeavors and occupations, being the human glue that binds everything together, though it be a glue that sometimes loses its adhesive quality.

As I try my best to be an open-minded and understanding person in life, I don't stereotype based upon race, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation, but I do observe similarities in people with the same personality. It doesn't matter where I am or what activity I'm involved in: this is always true! They have the same strengths, weaknesses and interests that draw them together, but also lead to interpersonal conflicts and problems. Such similarities, based upon personality, exist among workers within particular occupations. All of this may not sound nice, but as humans we need to know what to expect from others in social situations, so that we can avoid harm and maintain social harmony in our day-to-day lives.

When I recognize a person's personality type, I think about how I need to approach that person; after all, no two people are alike. In my life, I frequently come into contact with people who fall into one of six personality categories. They are: the addictive personality, the introvert, the extrovert, the aggressor, the alpha female and the moody person. There are many other personality traits that I am leaving out here, but these six are the ones that I am most familiar with and think you will identify most readily, either in yourselves or the people around you.

Having a touch of an addictive tendency, I notice when other people have addictive personalities. They tend to have very bad nerves, an inability to tolerate boredom and a constant need for stimulation or excitement; often this is a social person who has a lot of friends, also with addictive personalities. The vices of the addictive personality may include compulsive talking, substance abuse, chain-smoking, and overeating. Unfortunately, these people tend to be targeted by the criminal justice system, often facing incarceration. These individuals may have periods of great pleasure and can be fun to be around, but can also destroy their own lives if they aren't careful. Luckily, many addicts turn to the more responsible people around them to help them overcome their habits and vices. People dealing with addictions are often kindhearted individuals who give much love and support in exchange for the help they receive.

As an extrovert, I notice the introverts who don't want to converse and socialize as much as I do. Introverts are often quiet, careful, and agreeable. They have a small circle of close friends that they maintain for many years, as they value quality over quantity. When making decisions, they tend to take their time and look at every angle of each new dilemma. They don't like taking risks and are turned off by the dare devils of society, avoiding risky activities such as base jumping or slack-lining. In their free time, they prefer to relax at home instead of going out with friends to crowded social events. Even with close friends and family members, they only engage in short conversations. Joking and hyperbole are often not their thing and they tend to be more serious. It can be difficult to interact with introverts when you are impulsive or gregarious, but it will be well worth your effort, if you can slow down and relax a little. I have learned this important lesson in recent years.

The extrovert, in contrast, is the person who is everybody's pal, who entertains those around him with his stories and jokes. The extroverted woman or man may be talkative, funny, and entertaining, serving as the life of the party. They often thrive on taking risks, which can lead to success, but their recklessness can also cause serious trouble for them. They usually have a very large circle of friends and acquaintances. Extroverted individuals may be impulsive when making important financial decisions or going to extremes in their social lives, much to the irritation and annoyance of their friends. These persons tend to enjoy lengthy, in-depth conversations, often over a beer or other intoxicating substance. In fact, the extrovert often shares many traits with the addictive personality, often enjoying vices such as drinking, drugs or smoking, just to a lesser degree. In contrast to the introvert, they prefer to go out instead of just staying home, as they require excitement and stimulation. For these above reasons, they are great to have around for a party or social occasion.

In my adult life, I have had many close friends who qualify as alpha females, so I am qualified to identify their characteristics and tendencies. Most importantly, they are protective of their friends and family members, while also being warm and emotionally supportive. They are loyal friends to nerdy guys like me; they help us out in a big way when other people ignore us or ridicule us. They absolutely love being around people and have a lot of friends, often a number of guys. They do have some close female friends, but some women are turned off by the alpha female because they fear being dominated or controlled. When it comes to dating, they know what they want and aren't afraid to state it. The alpha female is a strong woman who has her own interests and is motivated to pursue them.

Unfortunately, we all can identify the moody person, as we have to approach them differently from day to day, as their mood ranges from exuberant to extremely negative. Their outward behavior may be completely dependent on their mood. We all have emotional highs and lows, but these individuals have higher highs and lower lows. They are known for their volatility and are frequently diagnosed with bipolar disorder, though I do believe that this psychological disorder is over-diagnosed by medical professionals seeking to give a label to everything, along with a prescription. What can be scary, though, is when a few moody people have almost no control over their words or actions. They may be impulsive, but also very creative, working as successful artists, musicians or writers.

Finally, the aggressor is the personality type to avoid if at all possible. This person is usually male, either a large, well-muscled man or a small, wiry, insecure man who overcompensates for his size in inappropriate ways. This guy is a sadist who enjoys bullying and intimidating others. Aggressors lack a lot of what is common to most human beings, being entirely focused on winning at all costs; in the extreme they may be dictators or organized crime figures. Friendships and romantic relationships that they have tend to be short and one-sided. They may have a sense of humor, but it is either sick or immature, irking their drinking buddies and romantic partners. Aggressive individuals usually display irritability and may even have Antisocial Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. They often become subjected to the criminal justice system due to interpersonal conflicts or abusive behaviors. Fortunately, they do provide us with some of our most interesting stories.

Judging the man in the mirror, I consider myself an extrovert, as I like to interact with and befriend a very large number of people. I am very social and enjoy carrying on conversations with others, including strangers, in person and via social media. I like interacting with those from different backgrounds and stations in life, gaining enlightening new perspectives that help me see the whole complete picture. Sometimes, though, introverted people are annoyed or angered by my excitability and my frequent urge to socialize. Seeking self-control, I even have to tell myself to shut up when I get a little wordy!

Too often in life we see individuals with clashing personalities. We can minimize this conflict by recognizing the personality types of people in our lives, understanding them, and accepting them as they are, tolerating personal differences. It is wise and necessary to know how to deal with each personality type, because they are the people in our lives who matter to us. We have these individuals as bosses, co-workers, family members, friends and romantic partners. By understanding them, we can better please them and avoid upsetting them unnecessarily, creating social harmony and serenity in our lives. Ultimately, we will forge a stronger emotional bond with them.

In groups of friends, regardless of size, extroverts almost always take on a leadership role, especially when it comes to planning social activities and initiating conversations. The introverts in the group tend to stay in the background, but are the rock that others rely upon for emotional stability. They are sorely missed when they depart from a social group. This is the group dynamic for positive, creative groups that make our lives worthwhile. For negative groups, however, the leadership is always assumed by the most aggressive, ruthless individuals, leading to the ruin of all. We unfortunately see this in hate groups and in destructive cults. Charles Manson, the psychopath, gained total control over his delusional followers. I have long thought that group dynamics is a subject of social psychology worth studying.

Personalities are inherited, and we can all see personality types that are passed down in families. This could be either good or very bad. Such was the case with the infamous Jukes family that was a burden to American society for generations. Personality disorders and addictions tend to run in families, to the detriment of society and most importantly to the individuals afflicted. These traits tend to be tied in with problems of domestic abuse and multi-generational poverty. Unfortunately, it is often nearly impossible for these cycles to be broken, forcing many people to be trapped in their dangerous, miserable lives. It is our duty as a society to better understand these social factors and to help people in these situations.

Personalities are often there from birth and they present opportunities as well as problems in life. Looking back on our own lives, we can usually see trends in our thought patterns and behavior that started in childhood and continue in our adult lives, leading to self-understanding. We all can work to overcome our weaknesses, though, as long as we have the will to conquer our personal demons. We will become happier and more productive when we create the best version of ourselves. We can all lift ourselves up instead of wallowing in misery and self-loathing. No matter how old or how miserable we are, there are always opportunities to improve our lives and achieve true happiness.

We often see people with certain types of personalities who gravitate toward certain occupations. For example, extroverts tend to thrive in jobs that require a lot of social interaction, such as car salespeople, real estate agents and servers in restaurants; these are the people who have friends and connections all over the place! Introverts, on the other hand, may want to work at clerical or computer jobs, working alone and thinking alone, occasionally being the reclusive geeks who never leave their homes. Some aggressive individuals may gravitate toward fields that involve the use of physical force, such corrections, law enforcement or professional football; this can lead to some noteworthy scandals that make the front pages of newspapers. This fact of occupational life may be good in many situations, however, as people make friends and form relationships with those they've met at work. Commonality and familiarity lead to deep, lasting emotional bonds.

Extroverts and introverts tend to pair off in romantic relationships, as I've seen often since I was a child. It is normal to have two romantic partners who complement each other, using each other's strengths to counteract their weaknesses, making each other whole and complete. Often, people may clash or cause each other problems if they're too much alike. If two extroverts dated each other, neither person would get anything done, whereas two introverts wouldn't have anything to say to each other! They say that opposites attract, for a reason!

To summarize: a little bit of stereotyping is necessary in life. No two people are exactly alike, so we cannot treat everyone the same, but instead should value the individual for who they are. We have to identify the unique needs and desires of those who cross our paths, so that we can best forge meaningful bonds with them, for completing a project at work, spending free time or starting a new family. We can then add to this paradigm as we learn more about the person, becoming the logistical and emotional support that the person needs. Life is hard, so let's tackle life's challenges together!

Naughty Nocturnal Creatures and the Spark of Genius

Many of us are attracted and seduced by the allure and promise of the nighttime, as we seek to enrich our lives and have fun. The nighttime is my favorite time of day, the part of the 24-hour period that is the source of my strength and vitality. The dark of night provides seemingly endless possibilities and guaranteed adventure. It also empowers our naughty, yet creative side; this is when Prometheus gives the gift of fire to us mere mortals. The night is by its very nature sexy, alluring and exciting. After all, most of us are conceived at night!

Ever since childhood, I have considered myself a child of the night. As a little boy I used to enjoy riding in my parents' car at night, looking out the window at the lights in the city. Black was also my favorite color, providing a fitting backdrop to the brilliant pin-pricks of starlight visible in the night sky. The moon, in its four phases, has always been a draw to me, never ceasing to inspire me with its beauty. I was enthralled by the lunar eclipse of December 1992, just one day before a massive nor'easter slammed the Northeast U.S., flooding the New York City subways. When I was growing up, the excitement of the most important holidays was also centered on the night, from the fireworks of July 4th to watching the ball drop in Times Square.

With youthful exuberance, I embraced the night as a teenager and young adult, hanging with friends and sampling various forms of mischief. When I was 19, my friend and I went through a period when we would drive around on city streets and on Route 22, a local Pennsylvania highway, listening to hard rock music. My friend had an old model Ford Mustang and we would sometimes treat the people of Bethlehem to clouds of exhaust smoke. As we got into our early 20s, my friend and I would visit local bars and strip clubs, armed with a bottle of Southern Comfort. We enjoyed drinking and socializing at the Tally Ho Tavern in South Bethlehem.

Even in my sober, responsible life I find the night to be best. For both reading and writing, I have always been most productive at night, delving into fantasy worlds and playing around with the English language as I experiment with different forms of writing. Of course, I did homework at this time while attending high school, feasting on the Canterbury Tales, utilizing the MLA format or torturing my brain with the details of Trigonometry. As I reached my mid-twenties, I would spend nights writing frequent entries in my journal, expressing my thoughts on a troubling period of my life. Now, at age 35, late evening is when I write my blog posts, as this is when the Muses inspire me and words seemingly flow from my finger tips!

 

For the media, the night is of critical importance. People like me watch TV and movies, taking in the ingenuity of the entertainment industry. I rent movies from the Bethlehem Area Public Library, making use of their large collection of popular films. I greatly enjoyed the Last Picture Show, Apocalypse Now and American History X - I would recommend all of these movies! Seasons of TV shows are also fun to watch on DVD. I've enjoyed Law & Order: Criminal Intent, King of Queens, and Breaking Bad. On my TV in the basement, I also watch current shows, such as Naked and Afraid on the Discovery Channel.

The quiet privacy of night is also the time for many of us to fool around on our computers, surfing the Internet and playing computer games. This is a great time for making new friends on social media, as many people are home from work or drunkenly posting funny memes from their bar stools. I've also spent countless evenings reading up on obscure, forbidden topics through detailed, but odd Google searches. Then there is Civilization III: I enjoy building huge empires and destroying rival civilizations. The cozy, quiet darkness outside creates a perfect environment to be huddled in front of any sort of screen.

For a period of several years in my twenties, the nighttime was when I took on the town, for drinking, partying and other adventures. My four favorite bars were Bethlehem Brew Works, Tally Ho, Ripper's and OBT. They were the scene of many drunken conversations, raunchy jokes and fun flirtations. If the night got good enough, there was also dancing on the bar and body shots! I also enjoyed my friends' occasional house parties, sauntering home as the birds started to chirp. I usually got home okay, but, once or twice, I slept outside drunk, once in a ditch and once in the woods; luckily, I never got arrested for this!

Nighttime is the undisputed domain of sexuality, in almost every relationship or liaison. We all enjoy most of our sexual encounters in the privacy and anonymity of night. There are lots of attractive, glammed-up women at the bars and clubs, while we guys use cheesy pick-up lines. Of course, the alcohol functions as an aphrodisiac and love potion. All in all, the night creates an aura of steamy sexuality, like a scene from a romance novel or movie. People make love in parks, in parked cars and in dark, secluded bodies of water, creating a new generation of naughty, nocturnal creatures.

Overnight periods are exciting and dramatic, even when they don't turn out as planned. Even bad nights can make for great stories, and sometimes give bragging rights. Kids run away at night, people fail field sobriety tests, and couples start epic arguments that become legendary when they take place in public places. There is the exhilaration of taking a risk when you don't know the outcome. This is the essence of life, as life itself is a risk.

The dark of night is also the best time to gestalt - to just think intently and let our minds focus on certain subjects. This is a time when I like to take stock of my life and its direction. This is when we all tend to second-guess everything and make outrageous plans for the future. When we think in a deep, philosophical way, we discover our identity. We become aware of what we truly think, believe and feel, what we like and don't like. This certainty gives us the strength and confidence to take on the world the next day.

I am proud of my p.m. existence and its importance to me will only increase in the future. My future work will be done at night, a critical time for re-establishing myself socially and creating a greater quantity of meaningful content. I plan to use my passion and creativity to recapture the night, transforming myself into a local social personality and figure that gets his strength from the night and the fun, but sketchy characters who dwell there. Thus, my blogging education will be put to good use!

King August's Motley Insect Kingdom

As you read this, the middle of summer is upon us, with its vacations, trips to the pool and outdoor libations. We all have our favorite summertime activities and forms of relaxation. For me, however, there are a few downsides to the summer season: heat waves, high humidity, ear-splitting thunder, heavy downpours, and the overabundance of insects. The last item on the list, bugs, are what bother me and others in many ways; it is about these unpleasant life forms that I entertain you with a funny and interesting account. Hell, insects are something that we all like to discuss on social media!

Unfortunately for us, we are starting August, which I consider the peak of insect season in the Lehigh Valley. In eastern Pennsylvania, insects abound from early or mid-April until late October, but the peak of bug season always seems to be the month of August, creating a very buggy Musikfest in the heart of Bethlehem. Thus, you Fest-goers will be swatting gnats and enduring various insects landing in your open containers of intoxicating brews! The cicada killers come out in early August each year, completing nature's array of scary, dirty, pesky insects. The hazy, hot, humid weather of August, along with lush vegetation, make this month the perfect time for avoiding ants, gnats, flies and spiders, as well as increasingly aggressive stinging insects, such as bees, wasps and hornets. King August rules the insect world, making it his personal domain!

The human distaste for insects is universal, as is our deep emotional fear of them. Bugs are nature's intentional ugliness when it comes to living things, just as the Brutalist style of architecture is humanity's form of this. They definitely represent function over form and mar the beauty of outdoor areas that we normally enjoy. Buggy places that we hate often include beaches, marshes, forests, rivers, creeks and lakes. Any body of water will attract numerous insects, including mosquitoes, especially in the evening when we are enjoying outdoor recreational activities. Insects make our backyards uninhabitable, ruin our picnics and scare the hell out of our children. They can make the outdoors miserable during the summer months.

The obvious reality is that we are even more uncomfortable with insects when battling them indoors. Bugs, including spiders, often have to be killed so that they don't multiply or attack us in our sleep. They land on our computer screens, interrupt our favorite TV shows and make a blurry mess on our smart phones. Even as I was writing this, my computer screen was attacked by this small gnat that just would not die! Then, when we do kill insects, we have to deal with the splatty mess or the smell (as given off by stink-bugs). This is an unpleasant task that makes many of us appreciate the cooler weather.

 

To our continuing dismay, insects of all sorts invade our homes and apartments, being the unwanted visitors that disgust us. Insects can really get into things! They burrow themselves into our sheets, attack our clothing and travel in our suitcases from one city to the next. When they infest our homes, we are forced to spend our hard-earned money on exterminators, even living out of hotel rooms until our homes are safe once again. These things make for great episodes of TV sit-coms, but do not humor us in real life!

Throughout the muggy summer season, we are constantly confronted with gnats and small flies that land on us and pester us. The buggy dusk periods of mid-to-late summer can make it hard to see when they get into our eyes and land all over our skin. It can feel like they're nagging us to death! Horse-flies are also irritating with their loud buzzing and frenetic movement. Biting flies are the worst, giving a little prick of pain, and are very numerous in Delaware, with its flat, marshy land and warm, humid climate. Unlike stinging insects, pesky little bugs annoy the hell out of us every summer, making us savor our air-conditioned living rooms.

Too often, of course, insects attack, spreading disease, intense pain and serious danger. Insects can indeed be very dangerous, especially in the case of mosquitoes carrying diseases. Bees, wasps and hornets can also be very deadly when they attack in mass. Each year, according to the CDC, almost 100 Americans are killed when they stumble upon bee hives or hornets' nests. Spiders can also be poisonous, especially in humid, lush southern states, including the Gulf Coast region. I've known people even in Pennsylvania who have been bitten by poisonous spiders, requiring doctor visits or trips to the emergency room.

Besides putting our lives in danger, insect attacks torment our pets and put us through considerable pain and discomfort. Bugs make our pets go mad, especially fleas, ticks, mosquitoes and flies. They will have dogs chasing their tails and cats freaking out! Because our pets can't speak to us, we don't realize what is bothering them when they are attacked by insects. Even when bites and stings don't bring serious injury or death, bee and wasp stings have us screaming in pain, while mosquito bites have us scratching for days, interfering with our sleep on those sticky, uncomfortable summer nights.

Of course, many of us have a natural fear of spiders and stinging insects. First, there is the element of surprise, often leading to flinching or even spilling a cup of hot coffee, as I have done! Those at the Wise Bean can attest to this! Often, our fears have their origin with being stung as a child. These experiences stick with us because children have less tolerance for pain and more sensitive skin. Unfortunately, for some people this can create a phobia which immobilizes them for years. Most dangerous to us is when stinging insects surprise us while we are driving or operating machinery.

As a veteran of many vivid nightmares, I can tell you that many of our scariest, most disturbing dreams involve angry hordes of insects. The natural fear of insects enters our subconscious minds, even giving the feeling of intense pain to these nightmares. Movies play on this fear by incorporating insects into important scenes or relating them to undesirable characters, such as the Death's Head moth being symbolic of Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs. The scariest movie I've seen about insects is They Nest, a 2000 film shown on TV about a new species of deadly, man-eating cockroaches that devastate a coastal New England town, terrorizing a troubled doctor and his lover. The movie was so grotesque that it gave me nightmares at age 20, though I did enjoy watching it twice!

For our War on Bugs, many of you will suggest bug sprays, nets or citronella candles, but I have yet to find a bug spray that actually works. It's already too much effort for many of us to apply sunscreen, let alone bug spray as well! I do use sunscreen, but I definitely don't want too much gunk on me. As for citronella candles, we don't need to make our nefarious activities or amorous adventures look even more mysterious or erotic, like some arcane love cult!

 

Admit it: some insects are beautiful, cool or interesting. Beetles and lady bugs are photographed and showcased for their beauty, along with fireflies and butterflies. For children and adults alike, fireflies add to the wonder of a starlit summer night. What kid hasn't run around with a jar, collecting lightning bugs (as we call them in Pennsylvania)! Kids sometimes even add eating ants to their initiation rituals for joining their group of playmates during the long, boring days of summer vacation. As a kid, though, I was more excited about bugs than my mom was! We love butterflies, which inspire children's stories and add to the beauty of nature.

Overall, we hate insects with a passion, but they are a necessary evil. We all acknowledge this: just think about how many of us enjoy strolling through insect exhibits in museums, such as that of Smithsonian Institute's Museum of Natural History in Washington, D.C., also featured in Silence of the Lambs. We are especially intrigued when deadly insects are showcased, though we're definitely glad they're behind the glass!  Insects are necessary and good, just usually unpleasant for human beings!

We, the Perpetual Absconders

As we are all well aware of, we are living in an age of vast societal changes, in everything from how we earn a living to how we navigate our relationships and where we choose to live. I am now forcing myself to adjust to this new way of life; it is the process of self-examination that every grown person must go through. By age 35, a person notices that the world of their youth no longer exists. In its place is a new world order comprised of new challenges facing their generation. This is true now more than ever, as we approach the year 2020!

 

I thought to blog about this topic one recent Friday afternoon as I read my new book at Barnes & Noble and sipped on a Grande coffee. There were a large number of single adults that were also enjoying the space on that cloudy, humid weekday. It was like a sober Happy Hour! In that time, I took in the zeitgeist of our era, reflecting on how the world has changed over my lifetime. When I was a little boy there were very few people out and about like that on a weekday, unless they were a family vacationing together at the Jersey Shore, or a group of delivery drivers grabbing a slice of pizza before heading back to work. In today's world, however, it's not uncommon to see people from all backgrounds engaged in a wide variety of activities at any given time. The weekday has been transformed, even largely done away with!

 

For our generation, our adult lives are vastly different from those of our parents. Our daily lives are not structured in ways they were for our moms and dads in 1988, or even 1998. We may lack structure, but that allows us to be more creative in how we live our lives and to ultimately build our own meaningful structures that inspire confidence and self-discipline. Unfortunately, the protective bubble of the 80s and 90s created a false sense of security for many people, as they failed to look at the big picture and to anticipate future changes. Some of them were shortsighted because they clung to false premises and relied upon their baser emotions.

Jobs come and go, relationships come and go, and most of us move relatively frequently, when compared to our parents, who often lived in the same homes for 20 or 30 years, relied upon long-term marriages and worked an 8-to-5, Monday-to-Friday job for the same company their entire adult lives, until they retired with their hefty pensions. In today's world, only 2% of American adults actually experience the traditional workweek of the 20th century! This may seem shocking, but it is absolutely true.

People today either work part-time jobs (often more than one) or full-time jobs consisting of shift work or extensive overtime. For nurses and service industry professionals, like many of you, your "workweek" consists of a string of consecutive long, grueling days, punctuated by a few much-needed days of rest that may or may not fall in the middle of the week. For example, my friend Carla Sagan is a full-time server at a restaurant in Easton, while also holding down a part-time job at a coffee shop in Bethlehem.

Carla experiences such a nontraditional work week, as her restaurant shifts understandably coincide with the weekends. Therefore, she also enjoys this midweek rest period. This arrangement is very common today as a great number of us are employed by the health care or service industries, a change from the regimented, structured factory work of the Industrial Age. Carla does enjoy meeting a wide variety of different people, along with the fact that she often works with Alyssa, her close friend and roommate. She definitely makes the most of her life in the service industry.

Another facet of today's tumultuous economy is the changeability of small businesses that occupy storefronts in cities and towns across America. It used to be that, in every city or town, there were several established businesses that had many long-term customers, spanning years or decades. Now, small businesses seem to come and go with frightening speed! As a result of this, urban local consumers always have to look for new places to shop, to dine, to drink or to enjoy a shot of espresso. Due to changing consumer needs, online marketing and advertising is more important than ever, creating job opportunities in those ever-growing fields. We have to figure out how to use the flash in the pan to create a good meal, for ourselves and others!

Sadly, though, many of us are unable to attain those new job positions. Some of us are very unlucky, being stuffed into private prisons, work release centers or homeless shelters. In a sense, the decline of the middle class has turned us all into "others," unacceptable to the dominant ruling class. You and I feel the sting of being rejected like this! People feeling rejected and lost often turn to crime or develop substance abuse issues. Marginalized individuals, however, can learn to band together to provide mutual support and to achieve a few important objectives. 

We do need this mutual support, as a great many of us are renters, instead of home owners. Even many couples with young children are forced to raise their families in rented apartments or houses, causing new problems that are coupled with a troubling sense of uncertainty. Home ownership is often out of the question for families today, due to the difficulties involved in obtaining a mortgage, lack of job security or insufficient funds in savings accounts or investments. The types of homes that more successful people are able to afford are small condos and townhouses, clustered together in dense suburban developments hardly suitable for quality living, let alone creating a child-friendly neighborhood. Our society has created a nightmare for families!

For single adults like many of us, it is very hard to find a suitable apartment to rent, due to long waiting lists, exorbitant fees or security deposits, competition among prospective tenants, bad credit, minor criminal convictions, or a host of other reasons. This often leads to short-term private deals in which urban, lower-class men and women live temporarily with friends in their apartments, leading to a "transient," come-and-go lifestyle that is completely unsuitable for anyone involved. Many of us in this segment of the population are living paycheck to paycheck, and may be only one step away from joining the ranks of the homeless or America's ever-growing criminal class. Not surprisingly, these dire straits didn't just appear out of nowhere; they were decades in the making!

The base emotions that people clung to since the 1980s were used against them by the powers-that-be who sought to screw over the average man and woman. Greedy, powerful individuals manipulated these emotions for their own benefit - like Donald Trump, but on a smaller scale. This process resulted in the concentration of wealth in the hands of the small, elite group of super-rich. The consequences for many of us are that living standards are poorer for our generation and we are forced to eat the scraps that fall from the rich man's table. In America today we are all trying to gather as many scraps as we can, in order to be full and satiated.

 

However, this is not all bad, since we do have tools at our disposal to prepare ourselves for this new high-tech, transitory world. Our main tool is, of course, the Internet which, along with social media, offers us information to learn new skills, and an online marketplace in which to use those skills to make extra money. As the Internet continues to grow, economic opportunities increase proportionally. The human imagination can be used to create countless new ways of earning a living online. You and I just have to adapt to the economy of 2018!

There are also positive perspectives for looking at social changes, as well as economic ones. These must be adopted if we are to survive and be happy in today's times. For example, the upside to these ever-changing living conditions, is that we get to meet and connect with a lot of great friends and acquaintances. If the living arrangement doesn't work out, one or both parties could move on to better living situations. This may be a nightmare for landlords, but the landlord-tenant relationship is never an easy one. This is all a process of adapting and growing as individuals.

Sex, relationships and parenthood are no longer centered around a lifelong legal commitment that keeps miserable, squabbling couples together merely out of a sense of duty, but are centered on loving, meaningful relationships. Even in the event of failed family units, the "serial marriage" invented by Boomers has been replaced by changing relationships and living arrangements that may be difficult but are actually easier than the process of bitter divorce, followed by awkward remarriage. These changes are actually better for people's children in the long run, because kids are less exposed to constant quarreling at home or to clever, but cruel courtroom maneuvers. A dysfunctional order is a bad order!

The children of the 2010s are growing up in a unique time. Due to a radically volatile economic landscape and a society in flux, the world is more dangerous and precarious for children growing up now than it was for us. When I was growing up in that late 1980s and early-to-mid 1990s, I felt safe, secure and invulnerable to economic changes in the adult world of my parents. For many my age, this created unrealistic expectations for our adult lives and for our own experiences with parenting. At least, with exposure to difficult personal finances, children today will grow into tougher and more resilient adults, more satisfied with interpersonal riches than with material ones that give only fleeting pleasure. Their high-tech gadgets will gradually take a back seat to kinship, community and human rights.

Our aging parents often seem unable to understand those of us in our 20s, 30s or 40s, viewing us as "the Peter Pan generation" or "developmentally disabled." They sometimes fail to recognize that we are living in the world that they created, as we are forced to fight our own battles out of economic necessity, family obligations and our own pride in who we are as individuals. It is the American Dream deferred and scattered into a thousand digital pieces, or widgets. The irony of the song "My Generation” (1965) by The Who, is that our generation - and not the Baby Boomers - are the ones who "get around!"

In future years, however, when we rebuild our world, we will make sure that everyone is represented in their economic/financial plight, their political objectives and their rightful place in American society. We can create a fairer, more progressive socioeconomic order for the coming decades. Our generation will have a lot of work to do as we enter middle age, but our goals are largely attainable, due to the example set by many great leaders in our times and in our recent past. These include Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Nelson Mandela, President Barack Obama and Senator Bernie Sanders. As we have seen in our lives, when everyone is taken care of, everyone prospers! Our future will never be perfect, but I foresee big steps in the right direction.