As I try my best to be an open-minded and understanding
person in life, I don't stereotype based upon race, gender, ethnicity, or
sexual orientation, but I do observe similarities in people with the same
personality. It doesn't matter where I am or what activity I'm involved in: this
is always true! They have the same strengths, weaknesses and interests that
draw them together, but also lead to interpersonal conflicts and problems. Such
similarities, based upon personality, exist among workers within particular
occupations. All of this may not sound nice, but as humans we need to know what
to expect from others in social situations, so that we can avoid harm and
maintain social harmony in our day-to-day lives.
When I recognize a person's personality type, I think
about how I need to approach that person; after all, no two people are alike.
In my life, I frequently come into contact with people who fall into one of six
personality categories. They are: the addictive personality, the introvert, the
extrovert, the aggressor, the alpha female and the moody person. There are many
other personality traits that I am leaving out here, but these six are the ones
that I am most familiar with and think you will identify most readily, either
in yourselves or the people around you.
Having a touch of an addictive tendency, I notice when
other people have addictive personalities. They tend to have very bad nerves,
an inability to tolerate boredom and a constant need for stimulation or
excitement; often this is a social person who has a lot of friends, also with
addictive personalities. The vices of the addictive personality may include
compulsive talking, substance abuse, chain-smoking, and overeating.
Unfortunately, these people tend to be targeted by the criminal justice system,
often facing incarceration. These individuals may have periods of great
pleasure and can be fun to be around, but can also destroy their own lives if
they aren't careful. Luckily, many addicts turn to the more responsible people
around them to help them overcome their habits and vices. People dealing with
addictions are often kindhearted individuals who give much love and support in
exchange for the help they receive.
As an extrovert, I notice the introverts who don't want
to converse and socialize as much as I do. Introverts are often quiet, careful,
and agreeable. They have a small circle of close friends that they maintain for
many years, as they value quality over quantity. When making decisions, they
tend to take their time and look at every angle of each new dilemma. They don't
like taking risks and are turned off by the dare devils of society, avoiding
risky activities such as base jumping or slack-lining. In their free time, they
prefer to relax at home instead of going out with friends to crowded social
events. Even with close friends and family members, they only engage in short
conversations. Joking and hyperbole are often not their thing and they tend to
be more serious. It can be difficult to interact with introverts when you are
impulsive or gregarious, but it will be well worth your effort, if you can slow
down and relax a little. I have learned this important lesson in recent years.
The extrovert, in contrast, is the person who is
everybody's pal, who entertains those around him with his stories and jokes.
The extroverted woman or man may be talkative, funny, and entertaining, serving
as the life of the party. They often thrive on taking risks, which can lead to
success, but their recklessness can also cause serious trouble for them. They
usually have a very large circle of friends and acquaintances. Extroverted
individuals may be impulsive when making important financial decisions or going
to extremes in their social lives, much to the irritation and annoyance of
their friends. These persons tend to enjoy lengthy, in-depth conversations,
often over a beer or other intoxicating substance. In fact, the extrovert often
shares many traits with the addictive personality, often enjoying vices such as
drinking, drugs or smoking, just to a lesser degree. In contrast to the
introvert, they prefer to go out instead of just staying home, as they require
excitement and stimulation. For these above reasons, they are great to have
around for a party or social occasion.
In my adult life, I have had many close friends who
qualify as alpha females, so I am qualified to identify their characteristics
and tendencies. Most importantly, they are protective of their friends and
family members, while also being warm and emotionally supportive. They are
loyal friends to nerdy guys like me; they help us out in a big way when other
people ignore us or ridicule us. They absolutely love being around people and
have a lot of friends, often a number of guys. They do have some close female
friends, but some women are turned off by the alpha female because they fear
being dominated or controlled. When it comes to dating, they know what they
want and aren't afraid to state it. The alpha female is a strong woman who has
her own interests and is motivated to pursue them.
Unfortunately, we all can identify the moody person, as
we have to approach them differently from day to day, as their mood ranges from
exuberant to extremely negative. Their outward behavior may be completely
dependent on their mood. We all have emotional highs and lows, but these individuals
have higher highs and lower lows. They are known for their volatility and are
frequently diagnosed with bipolar disorder, though I do believe that this
psychological disorder is over-diagnosed by medical professionals seeking to
give a label to everything, along with a prescription. What can be scary,
though, is when a few moody people have almost no control over their words or
actions. They may be impulsive, but also very creative, working as successful
artists, musicians or writers.
Finally, the aggressor is the personality type to avoid
if at all possible. This person is usually male, either a large, well-muscled
man or a small, wiry, insecure man who overcompensates for his size in
inappropriate ways. This guy is a sadist who enjoys bullying and intimidating
others. Aggressors lack a lot of what is common to most human beings, being
entirely focused on winning at all costs; in the extreme they may be dictators
or organized crime figures. Friendships and romantic relationships that they
have tend to be short and one-sided. They may have a sense of humor, but it is
either sick or immature, irking their drinking buddies and romantic partners.
Aggressive individuals usually display irritability and may even have
Antisocial Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. They
often become subjected to the criminal justice system due to interpersonal
conflicts or abusive behaviors. Fortunately, they do provide us with some of
our most interesting stories.
Judging the man in the mirror, I consider myself an
extrovert, as I like to interact with and befriend a very large number of
people. I am very social and enjoy carrying on conversations with others,
including strangers, in person and via social media. I like interacting with
those from different backgrounds and stations in life, gaining enlightening new
perspectives that help me see the whole complete picture. Sometimes, though,
introverted people are annoyed or angered by my excitability and my frequent
urge to socialize. Seeking self-control, I even have to tell myself to shut up
when I get a little wordy!
Too often in life we see individuals with clashing
personalities. We can minimize this conflict by recognizing the personality
types of people in our lives, understanding them, and accepting them as they
are, tolerating personal differences. It is wise and necessary to know how to
deal with each personality type, because they are the people in our lives who
matter to us. We have these individuals as bosses, co-workers, family members, friends
and romantic partners. By understanding them, we can better please them and
avoid upsetting them unnecessarily, creating social harmony and serenity in our
lives. Ultimately, we will forge a stronger emotional bond with them.
In groups of friends, regardless of size, extroverts
almost always take on a leadership role, especially when it comes to planning
social activities and initiating conversations. The introverts in the group
tend to stay in the background, but are the rock that others rely upon for
emotional stability. They are sorely missed when they depart from a social
group. This is the group dynamic for positive, creative groups that make our
lives worthwhile. For negative groups, however, the leadership is always
assumed by the most aggressive, ruthless individuals, leading to the ruin of
all. We unfortunately see this in hate groups and in destructive cults. Charles
Manson, the psychopath, gained total control over his delusional followers. I
have long thought that group dynamics is a subject of social psychology worth
studying.
Personalities are inherited, and we can all see
personality types that are passed down in families. This could be either good
or very bad. Such was the case with the infamous Jukes family that was a burden
to American society for generations. Personality disorders and addictions tend
to run in families, to the detriment of society and most importantly to the
individuals afflicted. These traits tend to be tied in with problems of
domestic abuse and multi-generational poverty. Unfortunately, it is often
nearly impossible for these cycles to be broken, forcing many people to be
trapped in their dangerous, miserable lives. It is our duty as a society to
better understand these social factors and to help people in these situations.
Personalities are often there from birth and they present
opportunities as well as problems in life. Looking back on our own lives, we
can usually see trends in our thought patterns and behavior that started in
childhood and continue in our adult lives, leading to self-understanding. We
all can work to overcome our weaknesses, though, as long as we have the will to
conquer our personal demons. We will become happier and more productive when we
create the best version of ourselves. We can all lift ourselves up instead of
wallowing in misery and self-loathing. No matter how old or how miserable we
are, there are always opportunities to improve our lives and achieve true
happiness.
We often see people with certain types of personalities
who gravitate toward certain occupations. For example, extroverts tend to
thrive in jobs that require a lot of social interaction, such as car
salespeople, real estate agents and servers in restaurants; these are the
people who have friends and connections all over the place! Introverts, on the
other hand, may want to work at clerical or computer jobs, working alone and
thinking alone, occasionally being the reclusive geeks who never leave their
homes. Some aggressive individuals may gravitate toward fields that involve the
use of physical force, such corrections, law enforcement or professional
football; this can lead to some noteworthy scandals that make the front pages
of newspapers. This fact of occupational life may be good in many situations,
however, as people make friends and form relationships with those they've met
at work. Commonality and familiarity lead to deep, lasting emotional bonds.
Extroverts and introverts tend to pair off in romantic
relationships, as I've seen often since I was a child. It is normal to have two
romantic partners who complement each other, using each other's strengths to
counteract their weaknesses, making each other whole and complete. Often,
people may clash or cause each other problems if they're too much alike. If two
extroverts dated each other, neither person would get anything done, whereas
two introverts wouldn't have anything to say to each other! They say that
opposites attract, for a reason!
To summarize: a little bit of stereotyping is necessary
in life. No two people are exactly alike, so we cannot treat everyone the same,
but instead should value the individual for who they are. We have to identify
the unique needs and desires of those who cross our paths, so that we can best
forge meaningful bonds with them, for completing a project at work, spending
free time or starting a new family. We can then add to this paradigm as we
learn more about the person, becoming the logistical and emotional support that
the person needs. Life is hard, so let's tackle life's challenges together!
